Flatulence and Your Health

By Dr. Lars Trembleberry, MD/FRT

Passing gas is an acrid certainty in life. To no longer do so means the inability to have a bowel movement which we all must do to stay alive! Let's face it, flatulence sufferers, passing gas is no fun, despite how amusing you may find this curse of Mother Nature.

There are, however, ways to "live with your gas" without physical and emotional anguish. This is especially important if you're navigating the often complex corporate world.

As I mention in my book, Flatulence and Your Career, eliminating the passage of human gas can create a life-threatening condition known as "scatobloat ingestion," the back up of potentially several pounds of vile and toxic bodily waste.

Flatulence and Your Career will teach you how to properly suppress your flatulence to avoid this potentially life-threatening condition.

So, what is a scatobloat ingestion like? I once witnessed such an event firsthand, and it is not pretty.

This happened in 1975 during a research project in my lab in Copenhagen. A young man came to me who had somehow conditioned his body to stop flatulating. This was truly a learning experience, as I, an expert in the flatulistic intestinal sciences, did not think stopping gas passage altogether was possible.

The subject, we'll call Evan, had an overall pale greenish tone to his skin. Evan's stomach had ballooned to where I first mistook it for a huge beer gut. When I asked him about it, Evan swore up and down that he never drank alcohol in any form.

Seeing him struggle to speak through the pain, I took him at his word and immediately ordered a Gas-Ray of his stomach (a form of X-Ray I developed that is more sensitive to bowel emissions). Despite my exposure to all manner of gaseous conditions and maladies, I was utterly shocked at what I saw and quickly went into action.

I created a liquid cocktail consisting of three types of beans and purple cabbage. Evan refused to eat anything at that point, but eventually took a mere two sips of the concoction which did the trick!

I will spare you the terrible, messy details of what emerged from this poor young man. What I will tell you is that the problem was rectified in a matter of minutes. Once Evan got cleaned up, he felt just like new, with a flat stomach no doubt! (Unfortunately, one of my young Swedish lab assistants had to be treated for mental and physical anguish, but made a full recovery).

After having a front row seat to a scatobloat event, I can say without hesitation that no one should suffer through this rare bodily malaise, let alone witness it.

My book, Flatulence and Your Career, will ensure this never happens to you. Here's to fresh air, everywhere!