Flatulence and Your Relationships

By Dr. Lars Trembleberry, MD/FRT

Your flatulence can wreak havoc on those you care about and work with every day. Rest assured there are things you can do to prevent that from happening. This is especially helpful if you are flatu-chronic which is generally defined as highly noxious emissions that resemble the sound of a chain saw.

Life is about love, connection, and interacting with others. Life is also about passing gas. So, how do you prevent your gas from, in essence, screwing all that up?

Buying my book, Flatulence and Your Career, is your best defense. You must learn how to suppress this intestinal monster of reality and keep its inescapable fumes and embarrassing noises away from others. And you will if you read my book.

In writing this blog post, I was reminded of my close friend and colleague, Dr. Blip DeFume, MD/FRT. Blip, who is founder and chairman of the Flatulence Alliance Regulatory Tricouncil Association (FARTA), wrote the beautiful Forward in Flatulence and Your Career to which I will be forever honored.

As Blip mentions in my book, the techniques and training outlined in Flatulence and Your Career allowed him to sleep in the same bed with his wife again. This, of course, has been one of my greatest thrills, and there is special meaning to that.

You see, as a noted Intestinodorologist in his own right, Blip readily admits that his pursuit of a career in the Intestinodorology sciences was actually to cure his own flatulence problem. Blip didn't have your garden variety flatulence problem either. His was a rare and unique condition called "methatoxidemia" (often crudely referred to as "silent but deadly") that affects .000608% of the world's population. 

Despite my heightened immunity to methane stench, I could not bear to be around my dear friend for more than a few minutes. Worse, his problem was jeopardizing the DeFume's perfect marriage. Not only was Blip forced to build a detached, specially-filtrated bedroom, he was also having to purchase a new mattress every three months!

So you can understand how Flatulence and Your Career has a special personal significance. I was able to help my toxic friend preserve his relationship with the person he loved the most. And I am certain I help you do the same. Or, to the subject of my book, preserve your relationship with those who control your career!

Sleep well. An unprecedented level of flatulence suppression knowledge is just around the corner my friends.