Flatulence and Your Environment

By Dr. Lars Trembleberry, MD/FRT

Let's talk about the impact of your methane on our precious environment. Yes, there is such a thing. In fact, I devote an entire chapter to this in my book, Flatulence and Your Career, titled Secondhand Gas and the Environmental Effects of Human Methane.

It's been well documented that methane from cows is negatively impacting our environment. As I learned in researching this chapter, human methane has an impact as well—far more than we flatulence scientists ever thought!

You may think of your gaseous emissions as insignificant. But when you multiply that by the nearly 10 billion flatulence sufferers who occupy our planet, you have a global intestinal crisis on your hands.

Your secondhand gas has local consequences. In my book, for instance, I cite the story of 400lb Sammy Mambrane whose gas problem disabled her husband and destroyed the couple's home (there's a happy ending as you'll read about).

That's why it is so critical for you to read Flatulence and Your Career. It is ripe with techniques that will help you hold in and minimize what escapes from your anus. Here are just two examples I write more extensively about in earlier chapters:

Tremblicheeking  

I developed this holding-it-in technique during my Flatulomuscular Studies at my Copenhagen lab. Basically, Tremblicheeking develops buttocks fusion as well as muscle stamina for greatly sphincter control.

Vacuanal Dissipation (VD) 

In short, VD conditions your anus to become a vacuum to drawing your gas back into your anal cavity where it dissipates. I note two huge influences in my book that led to this discovery. One of which includes the Chewbuttus Pygmies who regularly sucked large beads into their anuses when worshipping their god "Suckukus".

No doubt, Flatulence and Your Career is focused on keeping your gas from hindering rise up the corporate ladder. But in doing so, you are also doing your part to save the environment. The phrase "a little goes a long way" most certainly applies here.

I sincerely hope that you will be as inspired by Flatulence and Your Career as I was when writing it.